Last night I was poking around in the garden. Inspecting plants. Pulling grass and weeds from the beds. For some reason, I kind of flashed back to Mac's hospital room. The small triangular space that felt so gray. That looked out onto another gray wall and down on a gray courtyard. That medicinal prison cell.
It caused me to flinch and shrink back.. a shiver passing across my back and down my spine. I had to look around quick and try to pass out of that feeling of claustrophobia. I had to absorb all the green around me... the blue sky.... the swallows darting and weaving overhead. A lone vulture over the tree line.
It occurred to me that the little farm isn't big enough. Thirty-eight and a half acres. I wondered if I would ever have enough space around me again.
I have stuff I need to do today, but I think I'll run into town and get some gas and I think I'll just mow. I'll stay out in the open today. Take my work outside possibly. Shake that feeling hopefully.