Friday, October 29, 2010

DEATH to the Law of Attraction!!!!

Yesterday I had a dear, sweet, kind, warm, generous person tell me that she tried to practice the Law of Attraction. That they had money problems and she hinted that it was her fault because her "attitude" wasn't always in line for attracting. BULLSHIT!!

Now I have heard that the Law of Attraction is supposedly based on theories of quantum physics and there are books that explain in some convoluted detail on how this wishful thinking process is all very scientific. Well, I'm not a scientist. I'd be willing to bet that the people who buy these books and swallow this hocum aren't either. How convenient!

I want to stand up and yell, "The emperor has no clothes!!!"

When I see entire regions devastated by floods, famines or military activity and sit on my butt in my safe, warm home and say,"Tsk, tsk, I guess they had that coming" That's just wrong! It's unkind and inhuman. Just like it is wrong for my friend to have to feel guilty for not maintaining this delusion. She is too good for this! Anybody is too good for this.

I have a dream to chase. I am shaping it into reality. REALITY being the key word here. I work hard for my dream. I walk on it everyday. I sweat on it. I dig in it. I shape it. I use all of the creativity I can muster to make it happen. I take all the help that gets offered. If there is an idea, I'll try it. But what I will not do is sit back on my ass and indulge in happy thoughts believing it will happen by itself.

I believe in work, generosity of the human spirit, and the spark of creativity. I believe in my friends. Every once in awhile some luck is pretty handy too. Law of attraction..... I don't think so.

So, my dear friend, no more beating yourself up.


Thursday, October 28, 2010


This last week we have been having some amazing winds! The gusts are sufficient to knock you down and to suck the air right out of your lungs. Most of the summer the wind has come straight out of the south. The recent winds have been coming out of the west. Today the wind is out of the north.... a reminder that I had better be getting a move on. Winter is coming.

The wind has been bringing to mind the story of Mary Poppins. The wind blew her into the Banks family's untidy lives and blew her back out again. If only that Poppins broad could put up fence, I would hope that she would blow onto the scene today.

Today, with luck, I'll finish the last of the back fence. I'll also, with luck, get the ponies moved onto the fresh grass.

It doesn't sound like a big deal when you write it out like that, but it embraces so much! Grass!!! so I don't have to start buying hay yet! The horses at a safe distance so I can start building some sort of winter structure. Having a decent cover for the hay so I don't lose a quarter of it to mold. A place to park the mower and to put the shovels and rakes away. A little order amidst my chaos. As I sit here, looking at electrical supplies and a stack of lumber in the dining area, I think some order would be wonderful!

Small happenings are catalysts for great change. Maybe, just maybe.... this could even be the beginning of the end of the to-do list. I can only hope.


P.S. Good morning Russia, Malta and the Netherlands!! So happy to see you!

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I miss my ponies....

I have been trying to streamline my lists and figure out the most important tasks. Those ominous things that absolutely must be done before winter. I have it down to ten items....... maybe eleven... if I'm not careful it could slip on up to twelve. But the point is that if I get these things done I should be set up to spend more time with the ponies over the course of the winter. But that leaves me missing them now.

I feel guilty.

But if I can just get done! I'll have more pasture, a run in shed... I hope, and a round pen where I hope we can play this winter. But the look in Pip's eye when I go by their lot causes me to cringe inside. She wants to play now. She wants some puzzles to solve. Chloe wants food. Pip wants more.

But winter is coming and there won't be much of a reprieve. It's a matter of ignore them now or suffer later. I don't want them to suffer later. But in the meantime.... I really miss my ponies!

I know I sound ridiculous to other people but if they just knew what it was like to think you'll be with your horse for twenty minutes and end up playing for two hours.... and not even realizing that the time had gone. To know what it's like when you leave your horse and instead of going off to graze, she follows you as far as the fence will allow. When your horse gazes at you with more longing then your husband has EVER been able to muster, THAT'S when you know what it's like to be with a horse.

So! I'll get my ten things done.... maybe eleven, and with luck we'll be set up to have a wonderful winter together. I think we've earned that. I really, really miss my ponies.


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

CRP Payment

Yesterday we received our last CRP payment. It wasn't for a great deal of money. But it is sorely needed and will go mostly towards insurance payments and taxes. A little will get squirreled away for christmas. It would be nice to be able to get another load of gravel. Then there are the hardware supplies!

The hardware supplies are exciting!!!! If I get another hundred foot of drain tile then all of my tiling projects will be done!! I need some hinges but other then that I think I have everything I need here to build a yard shed. Then I can clean out the house!! If I buy a little fresh lumber, I could get the shelves built and put into the kitchen. Maybe a remnant of carpet for the sleeping area of the loft. Then I could get the loft finished!! Maybe finish the windows......CURTAINS!!

It's as if suddenly there is a world of possibilities. I have to hold myself together though. First the bills then we see what's left. Then we have to prioritize.

It gives me a glimpse of what homesteaders must have felt like after they sold their crop and then received the Sears and Roebuck catalog. That emotional boost that you needed before contemplating a long winter.

You can't help thinking of all that you might be able to do!

Grass seed for the pasture so there is a better crop of hay next year! Some decent tarps to protect the hay. Much needed glasses.... a pair of jeans!

As I said the payment isn't that much. We'll have to see how it goes. Maybe I'd better buy a lotto ticket as well.


Monday, October 25, 2010

Unseen Hands

Many years ago, when there was nothing but crap on TV, we sat and watched a show about famous hauntings. Most of it it was odd and unsupportable but there was one that was interesting. A school bus, for some reason, had stalled on the railroad tracks and the students that hadn't got off the bus in time were hit by the train and died. So one of the favorite late night pastimes in the area is to go park your car on the tracks. After a bit the car slowly starts to move. The movement at first is almost imperceptible. But after a short time the car is off the tracks and it stops. It's important when you go do this little experiment, that your car is dirty. If you try this with a dusty, dirty car, after it is rolled off the tracks, you will find many little hand prints in the dust.

Seeing those little hands in the dust was kind of a creepy, goose bumps moment.

This is the way it is for me here, on the little farm. I check my stats and I find that someone has read my blog in Latvia and I am amazed! then another day there will be Vietnam and Australia, Canada. South Korea was a surprise. Austria is new today. (Hello!) Not forgetting Sweden, Germany and Poland. Though one of my favorites is Slovenia. My memory could be wrong but wasn't that the homeland of Boris Badenuff and Natasha? They traveled the world hunting "moose and squirrel" which would be Rocky and Bullwinkle to most of us.... forever trying to find there way back for college .... Whatsamatta U.

I digress.

You all and the thirty-three to forty-eight readers here in the states are my unseen hands, pushing me on when I bog down in a dangerous place. Encouraging me just by being there. Sometimes when I finally find my way clear of an especially difficult task, I could swear I have your dusty little fingerprints all over my back! I'm not so alone as I often feel.

And you guys don't give me goose bumps at all!! Thanks so much for taking this journey with me.


Friday, October 22, 2010

Pancakes, revisited

There are days when there is just no hope for control. With luck you can direct... a little. That kind of describes yesterday. Appointments were rescheduled. Calls were received from the Iowa City Dr. office. New labs were ordered. So off to Des Moines tonight for a new UA and then again next Friday for a new Blood count. Tiring. Tiring and scary.

So what does a warrior woman do?

Well, yesterday I tried to not think. I tried to stay physically busy and to shut down my brain. I cut brush and I burned until my back hurt so bad that I could barely function. I got rid of a fair amount of buck brush and one HUGE rose bush. It went pretty well. I didn't lose much blood.

Today, I'll try something different. Try to make myself be creative. Work on next year's farm calendar .... and make myself some pancakes.

Pancakes!... the elixar of life in solid form! Pancakes!... the breakfast food that doubles as dessert! Pancakes!.... the muscles behind the syrup, or sorghum, or strawberries and whipped cream, or pecans! PANCAKES! that which comforts when you don't know what the hell else will.

Pancakes.. because you have to start somewhere, and you don't know where else to start.


Thursday, October 21, 2010


Recently all of my news has been disappointing. It started with a computer class that was actually suggested by my vocational/ disabilities counselor. I got excited about it. It was a computer class that would take care of all of my loose ends. All the things that I have been having to wait for an opening in someone else's schedule so they could help me. It would have streamlined my existence. But they chose to not pay for a class and I was told to just spend my own money to go to a paid site that has support. What a freakin' novel idea!!! Pay someone! Gee, now I just need to make some money and become solvent again so I can pay someone! I know!!! The fastest way to make money these days is on the internet! I'll create a website and sell my stuff there so I can make enough money to pay someone to create a web site.

If I had money I'd just pay for the class myself which would still be far cheaper then paying out to a hosting site... even a cheap hosting site, for forever!

Yesterday was Mac's trip to Iowa City to the University Hospital. His Graft vs. Host has worsened a little. It is in his mouth and throat so they are ordering a scope of the esophagus. He has been on antibiotics for over a year and a half so there is some hope that the swallowing issue he is dealing with is just induced by some candida which is a fungal growth that occurs when the antibiotics kill off all the healthy flora in the body. Until they actually look, who knows. They went ahead and scheduled the scope but it got scheduled for the day before he puts in a couple of thirteen hour long days doing student conferences. We want to get the appointment changed so he doesn't fall into exhaustion. When dealing with a pack of sixth graders, becoming overly tired is a threat at the best of times.

Then we got home and there was a business card on the step. A business card from the banker. The banker from the bank that holds the mortgage to the old house. The old house that won't sell. The old house that we can't afford to make payments on anymore.

This morning the full moon was lighting my way, so I went out early to feed the ponies. Chloe came running down to meet me in the usual fashion. Pip came from a different way. She had gotten out. Gotten out through this piece of shit fence that other people say is good enough. If I hear one more person say that "a couple of strands of hot wire will keep a bull in so I shouldn't have any trouble", I will scream!! Apparently the bulls around here are far more fragile then a haflinger.

Today, I am too tired to even think about throwing a punch. But that's what I need to do. Get up and fight the hordes back. I don't need any more hoops to jump. Too tired for hoops. I hope that no one speaks to me today. I could use some good news but I don't feel that is possible, so I will be happy with silence. Dwell here for awhile and try to regain my strength. Find my warrior women.


Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Add Ons

Every once in awhile you see a picture on the internet or a magazine or you look out of the window of your car as your speeding along and you catch a glimpse of something. It's more about the feeling you get then the it is the scene, but you know that you have to recreate it. Then you know that the feeling... that look, has to be recreated at home.

There have been several such glimpses lately. Things that look like they would just melt right into the landscape here. Fences and arbors and hedge rows that crawl over the hills, undulating and green.

My brains go onto hyperdrive and start dissecting the best way to accomplish another project. The best location... the best view... could you put a toilet in it? Now don't tell me you haven't wondered that! We've all been to places where the "facilities" were a row of fly covered Kybos along a back fence. No, not here. Here, every purpose will add to the aesthetic. Everything here has to be beautiful. Every add on has to add to the vision.

I wish I could share it with you... the sun peeking over the hills, the trees outlined in the glow as black silhouettes. Descending down the road into a vale of trees. Rabbits on the road and deer jumping out of the ditches and bounding across the meadow. Then there is a break in the darkness of the trees and you look up. In the bright clearing is such a small cottage. It just draws you in. Every thing around it is rustic and timeless. The horses nicker and the red tailed hawks glide across the ever lightening skies. Sometimes you hear their screeching call.

So for a place like this only the best add ons will do... no steel sheds here. Only magic things belong in this magic place. And so, Happy Campers, that is the thought that will have to tied you over tomorrow. Tomorrow we will be up early and head out for Iowa City to see the secondary group of oncologists. With luck, Mac's scheduled visits will get moved out to eight weeks.

Fingers crossed.


Monday, October 18, 2010

Monday is for Rancor

Well, here it is ..... Monday... again. I am trying to scrape together a happy thought, or some notion about humanity. Even when trying to force a viewpoint of some jolly event (christmas) all I can see is the down side. At least for today that is all I can see. Obviously, Monday is for rancor.

There is great hope for Tuesday! Wednesday is yet another Dr. visit in Iowa City so that will be fear and loathing and nausea. Thursday will be the recovering from the emotional wringer of Wednesday. Friday, Mac likes for me to take him to work and pick him up in case we want to do something together. This cuts my day short. We can never think of anything "fun" to do anyway, which sets us up for a weekend where I want to get a bizillion things done cause I have that second set of hands that is suppose to be so helpful. For Mac, the weekend is about relaxing. He sits with the computer on, plays dvd's of the cartoons for grown ups, like Hellboy and Ultimate Avengers, and does crossword puzzles.... and I go nuts. By the time the weekend is over, I feel like I should be sitting in a corner humming and rocking myself in some sort of catatonic state.

Which brings us right back to .... Monday is for rancor.

It isn't good to sit still for too long. That's when all the fears come rushing at you. The adrenaline takes over. I want to fight and when I'm being forced to "relax" I feel like I have been bound with ropes and trussed up against a wall. Sitting isn't relaxing. Sitting is what you do in a hospital room. Sitting is what you do when waiting in a hallway for a test. Sitting is what you do when the circumstances of life have nailed your feet down to the floor in that one, f**king horrible place and you can't get up and run away. I*DON'T*WANT*TO*SIT*STILL*ANYMORE!!!

You have to get outside and pull the shrouds away and let the air touch your skin. You have to cut out bramble and get scratched up and bleed a little so you know you're alive. You have to.... or there's no great hope for Tuesday.


Friday, October 15, 2010


I admit that I have stress, and I have been worrying a lot about winter's approach. Since Mac has had the recurrence of the leukemia, I stress about his stress. I stress about the desire to be successful, not just so I can stay on the little farm, but so Mac can take early retirement. I think if he continues to teach that they will stress him into sickness and the leukemia will come back. There isn't much for treatment options if it comes back again.

I think Mac will always find a way to teach. It's what he was born to do. It's his calling. I think it is a shame that the current educational crisis is pushing programs not real education. But I don't know what to do to take away his stress. When I get in a real funk, I turn to the woods. I take my axe and a shovel and a rake and I start clearing out the buck brush. As I clear, I burn and there is something purifying to the spirit in a fire. By the time I have a good clearing made, my spirits are lighter. My mind is working more freely. Often times, I hurt everywhere. But there is a feeling of power from hurting and continuing, also.

I don't know how to give that to him. If I could take all the stress of the world away, I wonder what heights we could reach? How strong could we become? How much could we change the world?

All we have to do is to get rid of some stress.


Thursday, October 14, 2010

Old Dogs

I am blessed with an old dog by the name of Fiona. This year she officially became an old dog. When it's time to take off and do something on the little farm, she's very game about going out. Then we walk around and I gather my tools together. Sometimes I also take the red wagon and by the time I'm ready to set out she says, "Okay! I pooped! Can I go back in now?"

This seems to be harder for me then for her. Not that long ago, it seems, she would have been game for the day. She would have chased the deer and the rabbits. She would have laid in the creek in order to drink, because that is her preferred method. She would have just ranged around me for the day. Circling and circling... an obvious herding ability that was never fulfilled.

Fiona has always had this great move. We always called it the "Did Grampa fall into the culvert again, Lassie" move. She starts out, tense and on the alert, head up. She looks at what's drawing her attention, then hops and runs a few feet. Then she stares back at me. She repeats the move until someone comes with her. Her move is used to fill the food or water dish... to be let outdoors... to take me to a stick and once, she showed me a box turtle that she found. Cool move. But now she just looks at me then looks toward the woods, then she turns to the door of the house as if to say, "The old man's done for this time".

For years now, this blue heeler/ border collie cross has been my shadow. She has been the most obedient, the most protective dog I have ever had. My compatriot, my partner in crime.

Yesterday, as I was headed back to a wooded corner of the property to check out a fence line, I called out to her. "Are you coming with?" A sentence that she knows. She ran ten feet and stopped. She stared at me in that intent Border Collie way that she has. Then she looked over her shoulder at the house. I answered, "Alright then, but I won't be back up for awhile." She took off for the house. I knew she would find her spot , laying in the shade of the hosta garden.

It's hard to see her aging away, but she is still a good dog. A good, old dog because she was such a good dog when she was young. My heroic dog.


Wednesday, October 13, 2010


Yesterday I had a couple of small miracles. One, I FINALLY got the arbor done!! WaaHoo!! Today, if I can find my outdoor grade wiring, I can install the lights. The lights were something I promised Mac I would have done before winter, so the arbor has been weighing heavy on my mind.

My second little miracle was that I went off past the tree line and mowed where I planted sugar maples last spring. I might have lost a couple but all in all, they are looking well. The elderberries and the hazelnuts also continue to thrive. I'm encouraged.

My next item may not be a miracle yet..... more of a miracle in training. A friend of mine was posting some items from youtube of a rather amazing horseback archer from Hungary. She found his web site and sent pictures. He has this amazing fence. It looks like it sits on the ground instead of being dependent on a lot of hole digging. Then I hauled out my copies of the Lord of the Rings last night and studied up on the building of Rohan. It has allowed me to see what is possible and I'm not drowning so much in the knowledge of what has to be accomplished.

I've heard that when a person lies dying their regrets aren't about what they did but rather what they didn't do. I hope I at least try to do whatever I can imagine. I hope I don't have regrets as I lay dying. I hope I can tell the people I love, "Here is this foundation I built for you. What are you going to put on it?!" I hope I can go out dreaming more dreams, fueling more hope.


Tuesday, October 12, 2010


Money is a total and complete pain in the ass. I don't mind not having much. I actually prefer not having much. But I want my income to cover what I do have and have enough extra that I can buy my grandkids a pair of shoes if they need them. I want to have a new bra on occasion. I hate having bras with safety pens holding them together!! We've only ever taken one real vacation, so I'd rather not have much and be able to afford to take a vacation.

Sometimes, well, actually often lately, the fear of the money situation has left me depressed and full of rage. It sucks all of the joy out of living. So definitely better to not have much and still have joy.

I stepped out side the door this morning to let Fiona, the dog out, and saw a shooting star. It was too fast and I didn't get my wish out. Thought that I should wish for money. That has never worked in the past. Not too much money though.... enough. Enough to not have bills. Enough to not need a credit card. Enough to not have a mortgage. Just enough.. that's all.

We had watched a show on space travel and astronauts recently. One of the NASA guys told how astronaut waste was put in a small pack and jettisoned into space. As it tore through the atmosphere, the package would incinerate and look like a falling star. So this morning, while looking into the sky, I wasted precious time wondering, "Is it really a falling star or just a bag of astronaut poo?"

That would certainly explain the financial situation.... me wishing away on astronaut poo! Yup! definitely a pain in the ass.


P.S. And this morning I finally get to say....GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!!!!

Monday, October 11, 2010


I am having another bout of disappointment. It's raining. A last minute change to the weather forecast. I had hoped to get at least some painting done. Actually, I had hoped to get all of the painting done but I tend to over reach what I can do these days. Working in the heat has recreated some breathing difficulties.... dammit, dammit, dammit!!

I'm just going through one of those spells where nothing that is suppose to happen is happening. I'm needing some good news and fast. I need something to cheer me up and keep me going. I need money!! I've seen it from a distance! I know it's out there some where, but I really need some close quarters contact with the stuff for awhile. Access to the stuff through winter would be an absolutely amazing change in my life!! Imagine turning on the furnace without first having a tremor of fear!

I'm 52. I've spent my life trying to be decent and be nice and to do for other people and it's really pissing me off that I can't make anything happen for myself..... dammit, dammit, dammit!


Friday, October 8, 2010

Politics and Religion

With doing so much manual labor lately, it is easy to just go onto autopilot and let my mind wander off. So yesterday when edging a bit of sod,my mind took a poke at politics and religion. I was mostly trying to figure out why there is an "and" there. It has been proven time and again that they make poor bedfellows. As poor as politics and corporations. Yet we persist. Despite a supposed separation, as the midterm elections approach we are made aware which candidates God is backing.

It made me remember back when Pat Robertson , the tel-evangelist, ran for president. I remember his statement, "God told me that I would be the next president of the United States!" Well, I also remember Pat Robertson saying the only sexual position christians should use is "missionary", so all in all I'm glad that ol' Pat has a hearing problem when it comes to God.

I also imagined what it would be like if the christian faction of our nation was told to "get ye up and go forth to the land of Canaan". I don't know where that is anymore so I suppose we would just go to Canada. Can you imagine the conversation though!?

"Herb! Pack up the kids and the Mrs. and go ye up to the land of Canaan/Canada!"

"But God! We just re-fied the McMansion. I got 4.39 % interest! I'm on the gravy train !"

"Herb, take only what you can carry on your back. Take no provision. You will be provided for."

"But God, have you checked out the 401k? It's stabilizing and I could be into some profit this year! And what about the pool?!"

"Herb, take a coat."

"But God......."

At this point Mrs. Herb sticks her head out... "Honey? Did I hear you talking to someone?"

"No, Sweety, it was just the radio."

I don't know... maybe I should keep my mind a little more restrained today. However, I'm REALLY glad that Pat Robertson didn't become president!



Thursday, October 7, 2010

Too Hard

Okay, I think I hit it too hard yesterday. I was going good and then felt myself wearing out. My reasoning was to work harder to get done before I wore out. I made myself get funky. I got too hot, forgot my water, trouble breathing, cramping and when I did make myself stop and drink, the water made me nauseous.

Oh well, that is nothing compared to digging out the house trench a couple of years ago. I managed to cut my hands up a bit, sometimes bled. Sandy soil pushed around the nails and under them, slowly separating the nail from the finger. I used duct tape on my fingers to help hold the nail down and to protect. Swollen, painful hands. Painful, back spasms. Sucking mud that came up to my knee and if you tried to walk or turn, it pulled so hard on your leg that it made the knee and hip joints pop. Got so cold and wet that some days I had to haul myself up and find a protected place and build a fire.

But we made it... we got it done. I'll get this done too.

I have to get it done.... the next project is waiting.

It isn't enough to have a house. I have to have it all. It isn't enough to have just a little piece of the dream and I will work until I fold up and die to get it. Hell! I've had employers that came damn close to killing me. What was that about? Them making more money! But this one...... this one's for me.

With that in mind, I'd have to say there is no such thing as "too hard".


Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Today is......

Today is a big push day. When I get done here I need to get brave and go out and climb down into a hole and dig out the mud. The mud is so slimy with having gotten rained on so much that it is impossible to use shovels, post hole diggers.. anything! Once it gets attached to whatever tool you are using, it just sticks! It is much faster to just pull on a pair of mud gloves and dig it out by hand. Although it feels like some sort of torture or punishment, it is faster and I REALLY want to get done with this.

Once this last footing trench is dug out, I'll be filling it with gravel that has a lot of fines in it. Then it will be left over winter to settle down hard. Next spring it will be ready for building the hobbit house...FINALLY!! There have been ample opportunities to give up on this project. I don't know why I haven't.

I have to gear up mentally to get down there. I'm a little bit claustrophobic and you get in the trench and you just have straight walls of dirt around you. It's cold and damp and just plain depressing. The footing trenches caved in on the garage footings and the house footings as well. I dug both out by hand a second time. The house caved in again. Next time I had some help, supplied by my kids, to get it dug out. Again it had to be done by hand. When we got those footings poured for the house the heavens opened and the angels sang. The next day it rained.

With Mac's leukemia recurring last year, I was just never able to stay ahead of keeping the garage footings open. I had to give up on them. A neighbor came over with his tractor and pushed the dirt back in. It was the end of a long , hard fought battle.... that I lost. I don't want to lose the hobbit house too.

It has been dry a week and who knows when that will happen again. It might be my last chance to have this come out in my favor. So I will gather together my sick sense of humor and my warrior woman nerve and I will climb down into a footing trench one more time. It's always easier if you have someone with you. Even if they aren't working. Someone to just be around. But I don't have that so I'd better just get over it and get this done! I'll take pictures!

My last big push..... we're almost there.


Another PS. today GOOD MORNING, BRAZIL!! GOOD MORNING, INDIA!! GOOD MORNING, IRAQ!! I'm assuming the last one is a person in the armed services. Hope the adventures of a crazy lady in Iowa gives you a taste of home.... not that I think your family is crazy... or that you live in Iowa.... Well, anyway, HI!!

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Chick Flicks

It's a shame that men don't understand the power of a chick flick. If they did, they would have their own copies. My husband and I watched "The Mirror Has Two Faces" last night. He laughed in the appropriate places. He got George Segal's great line..."I gave a copy of 'Farewell to Arms' to my girlfriend. She thought it was a diet book." But he didn't "get" the movie. He somehow came away thinking it was about teaching, and it was just that one person was a better teacher then the other.

I'm not sure if that is an indication of emotional damage or mental.

Anyway, I'd like to take a moment to explain chick flicks to guys....... The chick flick is a romantic contrivance to illicit an emotional response. Kind of like slap stick for the three Stooges, situational comedy is for Lucy, the seven words for George Carlin. It's the set up! But why a guy should like it is that it softens the frosty demeanor. It creates a mood. It's foreplay in a box!!

So just keep it in mind that "The Mirror has Two Faces " is NOT about teaching! "You've Got Mail" is NOT about the bookstore business. "When Harry Met Sally" is NOT about moving to New York and establishing a career. "The Matchmaker" is NOT an Irish travel journal. Yes, there will be a test of sorts'll probably fail.

But at least I tried.


Monday, October 4, 2010

Planting the little farm

I think we have no choice but to accept that it is fall. If I weren't so busy panicking about the approach of winter, I could probably enjoy it a little. One of the nice parts of fall is that I stop and assess just where I'm at and where I'm going. This kicks off one of my first to-do lists for next year, which will be the new plants that will need to be ordered. Last year I ordered two hundred trees and shrubs. The trees which were sugar maples, had some casualties. The shrubs which were hazelnuts and elderberries did very well. Next year I would like to kick it up a notch and go ahead and place a five hundred tree order. Another hundred hazelnuts, one hundred sugar maples and three hundred spruces. NO PINES!! The deer think you laid out a lovely well spaced luncheon for them if you plant pines. The spruces they have left alone so far.

The five hundred trees will be small ones from the Dept. of Natural Resources. I try to buy bigger trees when I can afford them. Right now I was fortunate to find a paper bark maple at Pamida. Only four feet tall but then I only spent twenty dollars. In fall there are some great plant bargains out there. It really just pisses me off that I'm broke.... still!! I have a plan though! The local Hy-Vee store, which is an Iowa based grocery store has their mums on sale for a dollar per pot. The plants are okay, but the blooms are spent so no one is buying them. I want a bunch of them. So noticed yesterday that they were out of hedge balls. I will call the manager today and ask if they want more hedge balls and see if I can manage a trade.

I could use about thirty mums out in the hobbit garden. Up at the top of the terraces, like a little mum type hedge. The second level of the terraces have been started with old fashioned hollyhocks and balloon flowers. I am still hoping to get the little hobbit house built next spring. I have not given up. I even have hopes of getting the hobbit yard sodded yet this fall. Vague, distant hope maybe, but hope none the less.

My other method of planting the farm is with nuts. I have been gathering shag bark hickories and I have about three varieties of oak, or I should say acorns. I am ridiculed for this method of planting. I've been told, somewhat unkindly, that I am of advancing years and when I plant nuts I have no guarantee that I will survive to see a mature tree. Well, I'm not just investing in my own pleasure and I'm not just investing in the little farm. I do things because they are the right things to do. And, anyone who doesn't do what is right because they think they won't see the results.... well, they're just sissy wuss bags.

Must go, my acorns are waiting.


Friday, October 1, 2010

Marital Advice

Whenever you hear of some soul starting out in a new marriage, the first thing most people want to do is ... give advice. On the whole this advice is not wanted. I got lots and lots of advice when Mac and I got married... probably because we didn't hardly know each other. so we did the pre-marital counseling thing. We took home tools to work with and that was important. There was some advice from that quarter. We were told there were three causes for divorce. Money, Family and Sex. Money.. make a budget and COMMUNICATE. We don't but there ya' go Family... let it go in one ear and out the other and if you have to, tell them to take a hike! Sex... marriage is the cake and sex is the frosting and don't get your confectionary components confused.

Probably the biggest advice we got was to "love on credit". There will be days when you are so mad or so tempted and you just have to believe, you have to know that tomorrow it'll be okay and you'll be in love again. Just believe in tomorrow. Of course, this really only works if you're in love in the first place, so there you go.... again.

That's all professional advice. My homespun advice has more to do with the frosting stuff. You see, I had been told that I couldn't get pregnant. Yes! it was a Dr. and everything. But they were wrong or there was a miracle or something, but any way, don't think you can't get pregnant just because somebody told you so. Let's see that was my first child and then I had my second cause I was told you can't get pregnant when breast feeding. This is wrong. I have proof! Let's see the third child was a result of a bad economy. Do not put a great deal of faith in generic, over the counter contraceptives that you get at K-Mart. So what all of this boils down to is this, if you don't want to have any more kids, my one word of advice is this......SURGERY!! It's a good thing!

Oh and Mac's mom's advice... "Don't marry her!" I was siting next to him when they were speaking on the phone. Just remember... in one ear and out the other.


A couple of PS's... first off, GOOD MORNING, ISRAEL!!! And secondly, Petra, I wish you were here cause my oldest daughter and I have been trying to work with Google site to create the farm web page, and I'm telling you, those people are on crack or something!!! Google site is the suckiest suck that ever sucked!