Contemplation

I spend a lot of time on my own and as a result I tend to do a fair amount of thinking. Most of it has absolutely no value whatsoever. But a recurring theme for my contemplation is my personal worth, or lack thereof.

My feeling is that as a result of my no longer being able to hold a job, that society dictates that my worth is highly diminished. Jobless and without health insurance and unable to drive the economy then what value do I hold? I suppose that for now my value is as a caregiver. I keep the one going that does have a job and healthcare. I am support staff.

Isn't it just too bad that we aren't measured by the size of our dreams? Why aren't we measured by how much happiness we share? Why isn't the person that can cook a really moist turkey as valuable as a data analyst? Why is it that certain anti-abortion sectors scream just as loudly that an adult life is valueless.

Why is it, that society's message to me is that I shouldn't dare to exist? Why do I feel that I have to defend my right to being... especially during election years?

If I take what is left of my damaged self and try to make myself a better person, then shouldn't society try to do the same?

It's a good thing I have the warrior woman. It's good to have someone I can count on.

louie