Friday, June 11, 2010

J.K. Rowling

I remember shortly after the second Harry Potter book came out. It was apparent that this Rowling person wasn't going to be a flash in the pan. Kids loved Harry Potter and were all wishing that they were orphans and they could be taken away from their parents so they could be sent away somewhere cool... like Hogwarts.

For me, especially recently, it's the back story that holds the interest. Miss Rowling sat day after day in a local coffeehouse with her baby boy scribbling away pages of a children's story that she had no reason to believe would ever be published. I wonder at her tenacity. I wonder how she warded off the nay sayers and critics. In my life, the rule has been a full bank of people telling me that I just needed to get a job. No one or almost no one makes it big. If someone is going to make it... it won't be you. Who do you think you are anyway?

Unfortunately, you can't make someone hire you. Aging, used up old broads with over active imaginations are not a popular commodity.

Now, after everything that has happened this last year, the recurrence of the leukemia, the stem cell transplant, what was laughingly called a disability insurance payment, survival loans made, savings gone, I have reached the place where I have been afraid to go my whole life. I have lost control. Then I thought of J.K. Rowling. At that moment, I felt like all of the weight just fell away. All of the crap going on. Trying to sell the old house. Worrying about the stuff that I can no longer do anything about. All of the bullshit in my life. Let it go... it will compost. The dream is the reality. Where I am going to is the worthier part of the journey.

As of yesterday, we are next door to penniless. As of today, I am okay with that. The dream is alive and well.


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