The other night after visiting with the mennonite fellow about hay, I realized what a difficult task I am up against. I have been trying with relatively little help to get the little farm going on my own. Most in my situation have one of two things. They either have the money to hire the work done, or they have community. I have neither money nor community.
If I were rich, I'd be done by now. If I had community, I'd be done by now. I can't even go at it like a pioneer would. A nice SIMPLE little cabin. How great would that be!?!! Instead, I have all of this complication.
Oh well, this is my road. I promised Mac the house and the land is for me to live my dream on. So far, I have always kept my promises, save one. I torment myself with having neither money nor help, I just need to push that out of my mind and continue. I have promises to keep and work to do.
My foremost task is still the fencing. I am up to thirteen holes dug as my total. I will try to get another four done today, five would be better. Then I will go through the fence plan and double check what I need exactly. Despite what I lack, there is much to do and I will get it done. I have to. The dream is tantalizingly close.... just post holes away. It's hard to think that I have to do it alone... but I can do it. I have to do it.
Nothing left but to get it done.