Saturday, August 14, 2010

Random Thoughts

Lately I have had some thoughts that just keep rattling around in my brain. They're starting to pile up and I need to get rid of them as they are stopping more important, creative ideas. I'll just dump them here so they will bugger off and leave me alone. Hope you don't mind... I'm sure you will be able to move them on to somebody else in a few days.

First, my dog and I have a symbiotic relationship. I don't care if she drinks out of my toilet... She doesn't care that I pee in her water dish.

Does lose of gravity cause constipation in space?

Why do companies offer you automated, computer originated menus "to better serve you" when they know that it's just going to piss you off so much that the first thing you do when you finally get a real person is to cuss them out? I hope this isn't an indication of how effective they are in other aspects of their business.

When you consider what it takes to make coffee, that is before it gets to the coffee maker, I have to wonder how in the world did they come up with that? The roasting, I suppose isn't a big leap, but fermenting, then roasting to varying degrees and then boiling... I have to wonder. It seems to translate into a Jeff Foxworthy bit, "Hey Margie! What's this pile of stuff, bubbling in it's own putrescence? Hell!, lets cook 'er up into a delightful, hot breakfast beverage!"

I have been a dismal failure at organizing information for much of my life. I have found an answer with the roll-o-dex. It has saved me and the best part is that it spins. When you can't think... you just sit and spin.

Constancy needs to be a valued virtue again. It occurred to me when watching Pat work with a horse recently (thank God for DVDs). He was talking about what a horse expects from us. Two things and one of them was leadership and my brain lost the other thing because of this other stuff sloshing around up there. But I thought... there needs to be a third thing, constancy. When we have a week where everything goes to hell in a handcart and I just seem to make it out to feed and clean the water trough, well, you can see it very much in Pip's demeanor. She doesn't act glad to see me, even though I have food. She just turns her side to me. She won't look at me. We start over. I know constancy is something I value highly in my friends.

I want a long bow....AND THE ARROWS!

Now as a little thank you to you all for helping me out here, I will give you a little work place strategy for success. There is someone at work that you don't want in your personal space. Every office has them... it's usually the supervisor. So when this person starts approaching, start humming this song, "The Girl From Ipanema" It's the most irritating damn piece of elevator music you will ever find! You just have to familiarize yourself with the tune a little. The only line you need to know from the song is "Each time she passes, each man she passes goes, AAHHHHH" Humming this song and singing this one line is guaranteed to repel all but the most brain dead office irritants. It is totally effective by the third day of application.

Thanks one and all... my head ache has now gone away.


No comments:

Post a Comment