The christmas in July sales have started. I don't want to think about it! I have had a hard enough time wrapping my brain around paying taxes and insurance on the farm and the truck and getting some seed purchased for next spring. Buying some trees. Fencing supplies as usual..... but christmas?! My mind didn't want to go there yet.
Christmas is more of a fluttering little moth in the back of my brain right now. That's about all I can handle at the moment. I do keep a notebook in my purse where all random thoughts are put down. The notebook is where ideas first take on a semblance of order. All farm thoughts go in a particular area that is kind of broken up into categories like.... improvements....internet searches to make.....livestock possibilities.. etc., it goes on.
I keep a gift idea section too. All of the names of people I buy gifts for are listed with several open lines. When I have spent time with someone and they say things like, "You know how much easier things would be if I actually had my own hammer?" Then under that persons name I note.... Hammer, possibly tool bag or box, other household tools?... This year I am not short on ideas for anybody, but I can't make the jump to "buying" yet. Actually I am having trouble just coming to grips with spending money on anything other then bills, groceries and gas. Mac likes to eat out once in awhile. It almost sends me into a panic attack. I want to swat him with a rolled up newspaper and say, "Don't you dare relax and have fun!! Don't you know it costs money to relax!?" Eating out is like pissing money away. It used to be one of our favorite things to do, now I'd rather just not eat.
I can't afford to think about "peace and goodwill towards man" . It's a costly enterprise. I think for the month of July I will just continue to avert my eyes and keep christmas as a fluttering little moth in the back of my brain. I will continue to keep notes and dwell in my own little space. Yup!, that's the ticket.