Another bill day.

There was a slight emergency with the baby sitter, or more politically correct, the day care provider, and the boys were down to stay for awhile again. A three year old and a ten month old tend to keep a person busy. My usual schedule somehow gets lost. I needed to pay the bills two days ago but I am behind on that. Paying bills still makes me sick to my stomach, but not so bad as it did before we lost the house. Sometimes I still think about how much our lives would have been different if that house would have sold and if we would have had a down payment on this house... if we wouldn't have sunk so much money into it for so long. But I don't like thinking about that stuff. Get up and walk... shake it off. There's stuff to be done.

Yes, stuff to be done. Though as I look around I think there is a possibility that Oscar, the ten month old, might have eaten my to-do list. Oh well, this too shall pass... hope it isn't legible when it does. ANYWAY! Nothing like the combined appearance of a bill day and a to do list to make me think about money.... money goals... money schemes... and, in desperation, the lotto.

Let's see... biggest goal... pay off the little farm in six years. That's $171,000. I KNOW it can be done. I don't know how though. I don't know if it will work to build on the small goals or not, or if I will just become endlessly mired. So, how do I pay for the small goals? I still have the forty dollars that is dedicated to buying chickens. I need about sixty more there. About $250. to get a start on my trees. About the same for the mushrooms. At least, $800. to get the wedding site ready to rent. And how much for sap tapping and the sugar shack.... I don't know. It gets too hard to think after awhile. But what I do think about quite a bit is how six years isn't a very long time and how a lot of things can spin out of control during that time.

I suppose in lieu of thinking, I should just go out and do something. Better start with horse chores, then move on to getting the new mail box installed. Christmas tree needs to come down and somewhere in there I'd better balance the check book and pay those damn bills too. When I run into town to mail the bills, I'll pick up a lotto ticket. After all, you can't win if you don't play.

Louie