I like to listen to Garrison Keillor and Prairie Home Companion. He speaks a lot about midwestern sensibilities. About how we know how to shut up and muddle through. Nobody wants to hear you complain, after all. And when you go off to California and become a big star... well, don't be getting a big head, because we know who you are. We know your folks. Your mom went to school with my Aunt Dorothy and I could tell a story or two!
Just don't be thinking better of yourself then you ought!
Actually, I don't have to go so far away as Garrison Keillor. I have my mom. I remember when I was little and trying to whistle. I was told I couldn't whistle. My grandfather could whistle. He could sound like a bird. I couldn't sing. My brother could sing. He could sing like an angel. It seems that my personal forte was dragging home dead birds and having funerals for them.
I learned early just where I belonged on the "oughtness" scale. Don't flaunt what you do, there is always someone better. Keep your mouth shut. Muddle through.
I want something to change. At least, for the next month or two, I NEED to believe that I can make a difference. I NEED to change my world... to change my life. I need to be more then I ought. I need to have more talents then I ought. I need to be smarter then I ought.
If I can't be more then I ought, we will surely fail.