Monday, October 11, 2010


I am having another bout of disappointment. It's raining. A last minute change to the weather forecast. I had hoped to get at least some painting done. Actually, I had hoped to get all of the painting done but I tend to over reach what I can do these days. Working in the heat has recreated some breathing difficulties.... dammit, dammit, dammit!!

I'm just going through one of those spells where nothing that is suppose to happen is happening. I'm needing some good news and fast. I need something to cheer me up and keep me going. I need money!! I've seen it from a distance! I know it's out there some where, but I really need some close quarters contact with the stuff for awhile. Access to the stuff through winter would be an absolutely amazing change in my life!! Imagine turning on the furnace without first having a tremor of fear!

I'm 52. I've spent my life trying to be decent and be nice and to do for other people and it's really pissing me off that I can't make anything happen for myself..... dammit, dammit, dammit!



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  2. Louie, it sounds like you need to go play with Pip. Also, you might think about how much you have gotten done. Big hug. Maybe you should focus on something that can be done inside for a while--like your website learning adventure.


    PS, I made a typo, so I had to redo my comment :D

  3. Yes, you're right.... I need to go play with the ponies. when I am with them, time stands still and i find my calm place.

    Also need to pull up the big girl panties. these are the cards I'm dealt. I just need to figure out the best way to play them. Just too many fronts to fight on right now.