I am having another bout of disappointment. It's raining. A last minute change to the weather forecast. I had hoped to get at least some painting done. Actually, I had hoped to get all of the painting done but I tend to over reach what I can do these days. Working in the heat has recreated some breathing difficulties.... dammit, dammit, dammit!!
I'm just going through one of those spells where nothing that is suppose to happen is happening. I'm needing some good news and fast. I need something to cheer me up and keep me going. I need money!! I've seen it from a distance! I know it's out there some where, but I really need some close quarters contact with the stuff for awhile. Access to the stuff through winter would be an absolutely amazing change in my life!! Imagine turning on the furnace without first having a tremor of fear!
I'm 52. I've spent my life trying to be decent and be nice and to do for other people and it's really pissing me off that I can't make anything happen for myself..... dammit, dammit, dammit!