Miracles

Yesterday I had a couple of small miracles. One, I FINALLY got the arbor done!! WaaHoo!! Today, if I can find my outdoor grade wiring, I can install the lights. The lights were something I promised Mac I would have done before winter, so the arbor has been weighing heavy on my mind.

My second little miracle was that I went off past the tree line and mowed where I planted sugar maples last spring. I might have lost a couple but all in all, they are looking well. The elderberries and the hazelnuts also continue to thrive. I'm encouraged.

My next item may not be a miracle yet..... more of a miracle in training. A friend of mine was posting some items from youtube of a rather amazing horseback archer from Hungary. She found his web site and sent pictures. He has this amazing fence. It looks like it sits on the ground instead of being dependent on a lot of hole digging. Then I hauled out my copies of the Lord of the Rings last night and studied up on the building of Rohan. It has allowed me to see what is possible and I'm not drowning so much in the knowledge of what has to be accomplished.

I've heard that when a person lies dying their regrets aren't about what they did but rather what they didn't do. I hope I at least try to do whatever I can imagine. I hope I don't have regrets as I lay dying. I hope I can tell the people I love, "Here is this foundation I built for you. What are you going to put on it?!" I hope I can go out dreaming more dreams, fueling more hope.

Louie

Yesterday was hope...

... and oddly enough so is today. Yesterday I had an idea and tried something new for a home based business. I have so many ideas! but one worked it's way out of the jumble and that is how I spent yesterday. Working on one idea that might make me some money. I know we aren't suppose to love money but I must confess there are days when I certainly love the language it speaks. Anyway, I worked on my artsy craftsy project and the day flew by. Things clicked. The best part was my brains stopped running a hundred miles an hour! I could just be in the moment. That timeless feeling usually only happens with the horses so it was a respite I was needing. It was good omen #1

Then it was time to go and pick Mac up from school. While I was waiting for him, I took my paper out of my purse, and I wrote half of my first fairy tale book. It was good omen #2.

Back about four and a half years ago, when Mac first was diagnosed with leukemia, a couple of things happened. One was that I KNEW that he wasn't going to die of leukemia. At least, not this go round. I had a certainty about it. The other thing that happened was a part of me turned to steel. I couldn't wear down. I had to be the one that made it happen. My effort was going to be what made it an absolute thing that Mac would survive. I worked hard at it. I worked hard when the leukemia recurred. I worked hard during the stem cell transplant and the Graft vs. Host (rejection) and also during the venal occlusion of the liver.

Now I try to turn my steel to making the little farm "happen". Despite all of the uncertainty of life, I KNOW I am suppose to be here. I KNOW that something is going to happen that will take care of us. I KNOW that in some way I will have the little farm paid off in a one to five year span. I just don't know how I know it. I don't know how it will happen. So I try lots of things and I wait to feel a click... to know that something dropped into place. The horses have been written upon my heart since I was two. They are a part of this. They need to be here. The house is very close to what we imagined building together before Mac and I were ever even married. It's a part of correcting our course. That's what living your dream is about.... it's about doing what you're suppose to be doing instead of trying to excel at normalcy .... excelling at mediocrity.

So, now I hope that I found a way to make it happen. I'm hoping it isn't just another blind alley. I'm hoping for another good omen.

louie

Hope Floats

I like that thought. Whatever your circumstances, it seems that hope wants to wriggle out from underneath all of the crap and rise to the surface. It is my life raft.

The personal time that I had been spending with "hope" has been minimal lately. Then two things happened.... I cleaned house and I read some articles out of Martha Stewart.com. Go ahead and scoff!! Oh nay sayer!! but she had a video of a gal from Minnesota showing her how to do a craft project. The gal was running a business out of her garage and out letting on the internet. The best part was that she was SUCCESSFUL!! So, hmmmm, successful and featured by Martha and she hadn't even been operating a year!!!

I have hope again.

I can do this. I can still get my ducks in a row. I can do enough odds and ends money makers to get my little book written and printed. Then I just have to sell that 14,583 copies and my life can change immeasurably. It's a plan. It's where my hope lies. Keep your eyes peeled. Changes are coming. I hope this is the year that the renaissance woman can really blossom.

louie

things to watch for... If we maintain schedule we should have the farm web page running in the next couple of weeks. Also watch for an article written for Rado at Traditional Ovens. We are just waiting for the photos to go with the article. Soon "hope" will become "excitement"!