Recently all of my news has been disappointing. It started with a computer class that was actually suggested by my vocational/ disabilities counselor. I got excited about it. It was a computer class that would take care of all of my loose ends. All the things that I have been having to wait for an opening in someone else's schedule so they could help me. It would have streamlined my existence. But they chose to not pay for a class and I was told to just spend my own money to go to a paid site that has support. What a freakin' novel idea!!! Pay someone! Gee, now I just need to make some money and become solvent again so I can pay someone! I know!!! The fastest way to make money these days is on the internet! I'll create a website and sell my stuff there so I can make enough money to pay someone to create a web site.
If I had money I'd just pay for the class myself which would still be far cheaper then paying out to a hosting site... even a cheap hosting site, for forever!
Yesterday was Mac's trip to Iowa City to the University Hospital. His Graft vs. Host has worsened a little. It is in his mouth and throat so they are ordering a scope of the esophagus. He has been on antibiotics for over a year and a half so there is some hope that the swallowing issue he is dealing with is just induced by some candida which is a fungal growth that occurs when the antibiotics kill off all the healthy flora in the body. Until they actually look, who knows. They went ahead and scheduled the scope but it got scheduled for the day before he puts in a couple of thirteen hour long days doing student conferences. We want to get the appointment changed so he doesn't fall into exhaustion. When dealing with a pack of sixth graders, becoming overly tired is a threat at the best of times.
Then we got home and there was a business card on the step. A business card from the banker. The banker from the bank that holds the mortgage to the old house. The old house that won't sell. The old house that we can't afford to make payments on anymore.
This morning the full moon was lighting my way, so I went out early to feed the ponies. Chloe came running down to meet me in the usual fashion. Pip came from a different way. She had gotten out. Gotten out through this piece of shit fence that other people say is good enough. If I hear one more person say that "a couple of strands of hot wire will keep a bull in so I shouldn't have any trouble", I will scream!! Apparently the bulls around here are far more fragile then a haflinger.
Today, I am too tired to even think about throwing a punch. But that's what I need to do. Get up and fight the hordes back. I don't need any more hoops to jump. Too tired for hoops. I hope that no one speaks to me today. I could use some good news but I don't feel that is possible, so I will be happy with silence. Dwell here for awhile and try to regain my strength. Find my warrior women.