Recently, I received some money from my mom for my birthday and as my christmas present. It gives me exactly $100.00. Usually I don't think twice about either spending my money to buy someone else's christmas present or I put it on a bill or buy groceries. It sits there... looking at me.
God knows, I have the bills.... I have places for the money to go! But I keep hanging on to it.
This year I really wanted to get the Parelli humanality/ horsenality match report. It tells me what my personality is and how to make it work best with my horses nature to achieve results. It costs $99.00. Some of my friends have gotten one done and they have been talking about it revealing things they were unaware of. I have been intrigued. Anyway, the match report was what I wanted for christmas and now the decision that I always make has become a painful decision.
So for now the money sits there.... I suppose eventually, I will do the right thing. It will go on a bill. But I am tired of paying for nothingness. Insurance for example Car, home, health and life and it's gone! Nothing tangible... nothing I can pick up... nothing that gives me pleasure. It's just gone. It's ethereal and I am needing so many REAL things here. And while the report , perhaps isn't so big or so real as lumber or concrete, it would be mine and it would give me pleasure.
I am being selfish. I know what is the right thing to do. I just don't know if I can do the right thing this time. I guess, for now, that money and I will just keep starring at each other. We'll see what happens.