Friday, April 6, 2012

My Messy Life

I took a few minutes to read a blog this morning. It is written by a horsey pal of mine. A young woman at the Parelli center in Pagosa Springs and someday when she gets to the right spot in her education, she will be coming here to teach clinics. I'm jazzed about that. My friend's name is Kat Green, so keep your eyes peeled .... you will be seeing more from her.

Anyway, I digress.......

Kat's blog is concise. She is focused. She writes about her horses, horse development and the process she is going through as she learns horsemanship. It's all so CLEAN!, very goal specific. Then I look at my life and I just have to stand back and say , "Holy Shit!!!!" While I try very hard to be focused, I seem to be focused on a really large picture. I'm just all over the place. I am as likely to be concentrating on earthworms as horsemanship... which I actually feel very guilty about. There is just so much that is interesting. I look at the burning I am doing in the woods, and it is absolutely riveting for me. By the way, where I burned two weeks ago, I have false Solomon's Seal coming up... a good shade loving native that I have seen no signs of before. Yet there it is. Taking this new opportunity at life.

New opportunity at life..... I like that. Sometimes I feel like I've come through the fire too. Maybe not, I don't know. Sometimes a person feels like they are on the edge. I have moments when I think it is a bit too much, then this other me seems to take over and she looks around and says, "Really?!! what a bunch of bull shit!" Then She goes and tries to find another heirloom variety of tomato. I think of that side of my personality as my earth mother. Then there is the warrior woman, who has a harder time finding an outlet. Though I did come incredibly close to popping a doctor across the head a couple of years ago. That side of me is not so socially acceptable. There used to be a wife in the mix somewhere but Mac doesn't need a wife anymore, He needs a nurse, a caregiver. I have the logical planner that draws about fifty plans just for a chicken coop! There used to be a person who tidied up and I don't know where the hell she went.

Life is too short.... especially the part where you are really flexible, so you have to go in all directions at once. It's going to get messy, right? That's what the renaissance is about, I think. The rebirth, the learning, the expression. That's the important part. I think I'll just enjoy myself... make my messes, and let some dull person clean up after I'm dead. Yup! that'll work


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