I didn't follow my normal routine this morning. I usually get up and make coffee. Make the bed. Then do the steps necessary to get Mac off to work. Sometimes I sit down and write first or make my list of things that have to be done that day. That usually gives me some clarity of thought and by then, it has usually warmed up enough to be comfortable to work outside.
Today I chucked the routine. After getting Mac off to work I headed outdoors. There was a bank of dark clouds off to the northwest. But it was dry so far, so it was time to try to work quickly and see how things would unfold. I grabbed my short shovel and the last of my blue spruces and headed towards the back of the property. I measured off the distance between trees, which is six shovel lengths, and got the little darlings in the ground. Then back up to the back yard. I grabbed the rake. Actually, it is Edgar and Evelyn's kid sized rake. My rakes have all, for some reason, gotten broken handles, so it is the kids rakes or nothing. Thank goodness that True Temper puts out a child's tool that can actually be used for work. I soon had the old top soil pile raked out smooth. Then raked out a section of the garden that I had already gotten turned over and supplemented with cow manure. Then quickly got my "Early Girl" variety of tomato planted and covered with milk jugs. Then grabbed the single plant of lavender and took it to the front yard garden. I had two lavender plants already and they had wintered over very well, but there is a feng shui idea that for luck, things should not be in even numbers. As I am in dire need of luck, I planted the single in with the other two and gave myself a lucky number three.
Then it was time to go in and have some breakfast... and brush my hair and teeth. This is the good news of living in the country. No one knows that I am running amok and unkempt, exposed to the world. I did so well that I rewarded myself with pancakes for breakfast. I also allowed myself a bit of fantasy. I live with in my head so much, that I tend to see what will be, instead of what is... here, now, right in front of me. Recently, I had been cutting myself off from those thoughts, trying to be a realist, and not realizing just how much those happy thoughts were actually sustaining me.
I sat down , curled up with my old quilt, my coffee and my pancakes and I thought about coming up the hill. The arbor, new and improved. Bright flowers undulating around the courtyard. The crabapple trees mature and flowering with pink blossoms departing in the wind. The woods all clean with understory trees planted. Woodland plants and the smell of fresh mulch. Paths leading down to the ravine bottom. Flowers tucked in everywhere. Some growing out of dead stumps, some in giant pots. It's all so pretty! And it makes me feel so good about myself.
I have done a lot... it is getting better. I just have to stop once in awhile and look back, and see just far I have traveled. I DO make things better everyday. I just don't always feel like it. Sometimes I s'pose you just have to step outside your routine and see how you feel. So, I am finishing up my pancakes and watching the rain drip off the eaves and I am feeling pretty good.