Tuesday, March 16, 2010

promises, promises

As my girls were growing up, I tried to make it a rule that I wouldn't promise anything that I couldn't deliver. The intent was that the rules are absolute but then so are the rewards. If I couldn't promise for sure then it was more of a "we'll have to wait and see how things work out" reply. I can say that there was only one promise that I made to the girls that I didn't keep. I promised them a tree house in the back yard. We did get the tree planted. This was probably a bit of shortsightedness on my part.

When Mac was first diagnosed with leukemia, he dwelt a good deal on the things he would never have. His assumption was that he would die any minute and there was so much to DO! Of course that was a demon I was wrestling with myself so it wasn't much of a stretch. His list... he KNEW he would never live in a new house. He KNEW he would never live to see any grandchildren born. He KNEW he would never own a four wheeler and he KNEW we would never make our trip to Ireland. I promised him EVERYTHING. I kept telling him that if he would just trust me I would find a way to make it happen. I started drawing house plans. I started scouring ads for used four wheelers. I crunched numbers. I was in a fervor.

Okay, this might be a good time to interject a thought.... always be careful when you promise things. When people have something to live for, they tend to survive. And I should probably apologize to the girls. I more then likely exceeded my jurisdiction in promising grandchildren.

We bought a piece of land. After many years of commuting and almost four dollar a gallon gas, it was time to live closer to the job. I marvel now that it happened the way it did. I never even walked the land. I went to the realtor asked the price. I gave a counter offer. It was accepted within ten minutes. We did some paperwork. I put a thousand dollar earnest money check down . The realtor gave me a name of a bank and the name of a banker and told me they had found them to be far more user friendly. We got the land!!

I guess you would have to say that my cautious existence would be facing a fair amount of upheaval. Running willy-nilly to a better life can be a frightening thing. To date we hadn't even been able to afford a mediocre life let alone a good one! But you see!! I MADE PROMISES!! But the upside was that I figured if I was going to keep promises to my husband, then it was time I kept a few to myself as well.

I found a nice tree for a treehouse and I know that where there is life there is hope. As a matter of fact the girls went ahead and took care of that grandchild issue for me...more life, more hope.


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