Friday, May 27, 2011

Holy Shit

I am having a bit of an exasperating morning. This caused the phrase "Hoooleeee Shit!" to jump from my mouth. I know I shouldn't talk like that, but trust me.... I've said worse. Anyway, it got my brain to spinning. That phrase had to have come from some where, right?

Well, I figured it out.... picture, if you will, a poor village in eastern Europe. Off the beaten track, cold and hungry, the local priest decides that what this community needs is a relic! They gather together what little they have in the way of wealth and send two of their most trusted citizens out to the holy land.

Relics aren't cheap and saints fingers and toes and bits of hair are pretty pricey items. So the trusted two come back with a little gilded box of saint poo. It was all they could afford and they took it back to the village priest who set it upon the altar. Pilgrims came and the village found some new wealth. Not a lot, after all it was just poo not a piece of finger or a tooth. But a little is better then nothing.

Then a problem became evident... the saintly relic was composting! Time and oxygen were doing their job. So the priest sealed the relic in an even more safe and airtight container and the relic was only displayed once a year. Hence it was saved.

Now flash forward to WWI. The war has ended and the "relic" has been brought out to bring in alms and to celebrate the village's survival. Soldiers from all over the world are in the village and witness the event. Though gesture, pigeon english and bad translations the story is related. The soldiers learn the phrase and they take it back home with them. Forever after the phrase "holy shit" is in the english lexicon.

So, you see, I have to blame a small village in eastern Europe for my cussing.

Louie

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