Yesterday was a miracle. In a catholic scheme of things, probably a minor miracle, but for me a miracle none the less. We have our internet service again! Woohoo!!!
It feels a bit like coming out of isolation ... no longer a prisoner.
A lot has happened. We had gotten caught in the recession. The old house that was suppose to provide the down payment on the new, never sold. It has gone back to the bank. I wish it had gone sooner. Paying double mortgages, taxes, some utilities, not only wiped us out financially but was emotionally de-moralizing on the back of Mac's recurrence of leukemia.
Mac's graft vs. host side effect from transplant has improved. One steroid has been reduced in dosage. It feels like a huge surge forward.
We had to start making use of the local food pantry. That is a life event that is very hard to describe. On one hand, it had gotten to the point where we had to chose between food or buying gas for Mac to get to work. On the other, there was the fear that by my taking the food, maybe someone who needed it more was going without. In general, it's just a shitty place to be. This is where I found myself starting to live in fear again.
The desire for fresh food has lit a fire under me to get a good garden in. I've worked hard on that. I would like to dig out at least two more beds. I want lots of fresh lettuce but wonder if I have any chance of getting it before rabbits and deer. As always... I NEED A FENCE!! An asparagus bed has been started. Strawberries donated from a friend. Rhubarb! Many tomato plants. An herb garden. Watermelon, beets, cabbages, broccoli, brussels sprouts, hot peppers and sweet peppers. Pole beans are started on a trellis of huge and unwieldy looking branches. Zucchini and acorn squash. I suppose this is proof that a person shouldn't go to the garden center when hungry!
The yard is mown. The iris are blooming. The acorns I planted so long ago are still so tiny, but they have such mighty leaves on them now! I'm passing out of the dark and into the light and I hope there aren't any more dark patches for me for a long, long time.
I've missed you all. It's soooo good to be back.
P.S. I found a local garden center called Yutzy's down in Decatur City. They sell vegetable starts at twenty five cents a piece or ninety-eight cents for a four pack. Herbs for sixty-nine cents for a well started single plant. We are going to eat well this summer thanks to the very nice ladies who run this greenhouse.