I suppose the number one motivation in life is the pursuit of money. Not necessarily for the money itself but for what it brings.... the ability to buy food, a roof over your head, maybe, if you're lucky, a little extra for the security of a savings account.
I think about money a lot. I don't like thinking about money. However, I do want to pay off my little farm so I feel safe. I want to know I have enough hay and feed for the winter. I want to buy some other stock as well. I want a pig for the freezer. Chickens. Some good fleece sheep. Peace.
I have once again read the book, "Sylvia's Farm" by Sylvia Jorrin. It also provided me with a great deal of motivation. A woman, farming, pretty much on her own. She gave me a voice for my frustration. The book ended on a wonderful note. Her farm was paid off. It was incredibly encouraging.
My grand daughter, Evelyn has been coming to our house on most Sundays. It has been wonderful. The farm has become hers. She has claimed Pip as her own horse. All of the flowers in the yard (dandelions) are "her" flowers. She can harness all of the fortitude that her small two and a half year old body can muster to force Gampaw or Gammaw into the truck to drive her back to feed the horses carrots. She helps me to dig in the garden, though an extra body on a shovel is a bit difficult to handle. Sometimes dirt gets flung more then it gets dug, but we manage.
What if, someday, Evelyn or Edgar or Oscar choose to live on the little farm? It has to be safe... safe from the bank, safe from any number of possibilities. As I sit and do my "farm math", I think that I have more motivation then I can stand up under.
One step at a time.