Christmas

I am so not ready for christmas. Barely aware of it's proximity until a couple of days ago. So much to do. The plan was to make home made presents this year. Now I ask myself......what was I thinking!!!!??

I am about half done with a number of projects. Completely done with nothing. Totally side tracked by fence repairs, escaping haflinger, building a small hay shed that's to be a greenhouse in the spring, trying to get some exterior lights installed, you know, the usual stuff.

My mind is everywhere. My muscles sore. Time doesn't seem to be so linear anymore. My days are marked only by the to-do list. So much time lost with hospitals and doctors... so much catching up to do. I can't seem to get all areas of my life back on track. I will... I will.

Sometime soon I will be done with the have to-dos and I'll move into the realm of joyful to do. Spring and renewal isn't so very far away, not really.

Louie

Jesus Wants Me For a Sunbeam.

I really don't know what that little ditty was going through my head the other day, but I couldn't seem to stop it. I tried to exorcise it from my mind.... no luck. Eventually I decided, "WHAT A LOAD OF CRAP!!!!" If Jesus really wanted me for a sunbeam then why did he make me... well, me! I'm not really the sunbeamy kind of person.

I like positive action better then positive attitude. Sometimes I do a fair amount of cussing while trying to achieve my positive actions.

No, spare me the role of the sunbeam. There's more important things to be concerned with.

Louie

Hmmmm, how interesting.....

Linda Parelli teaches that with horses, instead of getting mad or frustrated, stop and think "Hmmm, how interesting" Then take the behavior and think of it as a puzzle and how do we solve it. That has been happening for me with Chloe "I dare ya' to cross this line" pony.

A couple of weeks ago I was wondering around the pasture. Pip was following right along at my shoulder. We stopped and I was rubbing Pip's ears. Chloe came up with her snarky face on and Pip was getting ready to clear out. I didn't want her to take out over the top of me so I leaned to the side and gave Chloe my best boss mare look. As I was leaning she spun around and offered her hind hoof to me.... and not in a nice way either. I got out of the way and then thought, "Hey! I'm not going to let her push me around!!"

So, I stepped back into place, noting that I was out of kicking range. Then I did my own kick in the air, kind of like that sketch on Saturday Night Live,,,you know, "I'm Fifty!!"

The first kick she just seemed kind of startled. I took another step closer and did another in the air "I'm fifty" kick. She moved. I kicked. She moved. I kicked again. She moved more. I kicked again. She moved about ten steps. Then I stopped. She blew. It seems we had come to an understanding.

A few days later and Pip and Chloe escaped. The neighbor got them corralled up. I think I mentioned this before. The interesting part was when I went to get them to bring them home. I took the halter into the small corral, no pretences, I never hide the equipment. And the pony that has refused to be haltered, came up to me, planted herself smack in front of me and stood stone still while I slid the halter on and led her through the very narrow gate. She stood quietly while I chained it closed. Then we started across the pasture.

We moseyed along. She was good.... until we dropped over the edge of a hill and Pip was out of site. Then it was time to get excited. Now I have always been concerned that my blocks and my ability to act was slow, but when in the moment, I surprised myself. Chloe wanted to come over me. I blocked...fast! She stopped. Blinked. Then moved forward more cautiously. We continued. She hollered for Pip and had to start moving. It was like Linda was in my head. I could hear her saying that a right brain horse has to move it's feet. So, I let Chloe move. Then she started to run in tight circles around me. In my head I heard Linda say that no matter what else was going on to protect my space. I flipped the end of the rope and popped her in the belly when ever she got too close. She stopped and gave me space each time. As long as she just moved her feet to move ahead or to get rid of adrenaline then we were okay. As soon as she started to get too much acceleration or started to get frantic, we went into a back up then I "put her into a box" until she could blink and think. Then we moved.

Mac was sitting in the truck and watching the event. He said I scared him half to death, but I wasn't scared. Through the whole thing I felt clear. I felt in control. I felt I was giving Chloe communication on how we were going to proceed. We all made it in one piece and after she was put into the pasture she acted like she was torn between running off and being frantic, or staying with me. Well, she had to go be frantic cause I had to go get Pip as well.

Pip stood and got her halter. It was the first she had been haltered without getting a reward after. We both seemed to have forgotten about it. Then we took off moseying. I had the 22 foot line so she was allowed to graze until I got to the end of the rope then she had to catch up to me. I would reel her in and then let the rope back out as she ate grass. After we got over the hill she didn't seem to want to graze so much and pretty well just stayed at my shoulder. During our whole adventure, her attention seemed to be focused on me. She paid no attention to frantic Chloe, and never once answered her calls.

I'm still pondering all of the little things I've done lately because of the ponies that seem to be adding up to something bigger. I'm still chasing the dream... and some days I think I might be gaining a bit of ground.

Louie

Edgar

I am not my grandson, Edgar's favorite person. Neither am I his second ... third ... fourth ....fifth favorite person. I think I might be in the twenties somewhere. But some of Edgar's favorite things in the world are "horsies".

I have decided that Edgar will have access to as much "horsy-ness" as I can get for him. When he gets a little bigger, I will be taking him to Parelli events and I will give him the very best tools and understanding that I can. After all, I'm just the grandma. I'm not the mom.. or the dad. I'm the person that's back a row. The support staff.

But who knows, with this mutual love, this indescribable draw we have to the magic of the equine species, we will get closer. We'll learn to see one another with fresher perspective. We'll see one another with "horsey" eyes.

Louie

Poor Relations

As I have stated before.... I hate electric fencing. It is, on the whole....crap!! My electric fencing that is approximately three weeks old for whatever reason, broke under the influence of a haflinger. So the ponies departed for greener pasture. The neighbor girl got them caught and put into their round pen. I went out to fix the thing but the evening over took me. The ponies had an overnight with the neighbors and the next day I continued my repairs. I decided that instead of just mending the break that it would be an okay spot for a gate. This it seemed would be a nice change as Chloe isn't quite ready for the four foot gate.

The reason I have electric fence is because it is suppose to be good enough. I've been told so. It's good enough for you. It's good enough for now. It's good enough for ponies. It's good enough because that is what you can afford. Good enough for poor relations....beggars can't be choosers. This despite the fact that I own wooded property that is loaded with natural resources suitable for fencing. But I can't get the help. Even when someone owes me money and offers to work it off, they dictate HOW they will work it off. I am thinking that I have a tatoo or marking on my forehead that indicates I am the poor relation. It is in some way an indicator that I will damn well take whatever someone is prepared to give me...PERIOD!!

Well, if I have to be a poor relation then I would just as soon be no relation. I want what I want for a reason. I really want to just stab somebody with my warrior woman sword today......nothing bad....just a small flesh wound. Just enough to relieve some pressure.

Louie

People Watching

I'm sitting at the rest stop on I-35 and watching folks. People have started their coming and going for the Thanksgiving holiday. People stare at me while they walk by and others make a point of looking the other way.

Their seems to be a family group caravaning along. They stop and use the facilities and it seems diapers have gotten taken care of and babies handed back and forth.
Bigger kids bouncing around. They all load back up and leave.

Another couple stops. More sophisticated. One dog and no kids. The dog is walked and garbage taken out of the car and the particular process of feeding the dog also proceeds. Smooth and coiffed.

A truck driver comes by. Probably a career driver based on his mid section and billed cap. He opening watches us.

Mac goes into the vending kiosk and picks up a couple of candy bars and then everybody is gone. We sit in the dark. A stream of lights go down the interstate.

Almost time to go home...and then we'll have to wait another couple of days to get to internet. I just hope that you're still out there waiting for me. Out there in the dark.

Louie

Another day

Another day of fearing winter's arrival. Hoping that I won't have to try and dig post holes without equipment. That is a hard chore!!! and I really don't know if my back can take it either. Oh well, it's going to hurt no matter what. My decision is more about how much will I let it hurt. To achieve some goals, it is completely worth it!!

I made an easy day of it today. Today was all about compost. I burned last year's compost pile. I'm kind of reeking of eau d' moldy wet hay. I also stacked up a fresh compost bin. I did the magic layers of soil, manure and dried grass, then topped it off with a pumpkin that a mouse had started snacking on. The pumpkin will winter over, rot a bit, Then next spring it will grow out again. It is the perfect system. The pumpkins are more protected and seem to start out at the right time to miss the vine borers. It is easy and so far seems to be a fail safe system. Anyway, works for me and I know that my pumpkins are already planted for next year.

Now, if I could only find my perfect method for tomatoes..... and rosemary.... and lavender.....

Louie