Raves About My Ranting

That was a line from an old M*A*S*H episode.  Hawkeye said that he got raves about his ranting.  It would be nice... to get raves that is, but today I don't feel like I can hold it in anymore and I have no doubt that my rant will not be rave worthy.

Last wednesday was yet another trip to Iowa City to see the oncologist/ transplant DR.  Mac is still on an every month schedule as a result of the flare up of the graft -vs-host a.k.a. rejection.  This time the physician's assistant mentioned that perhaps he needed to think about getting Social Security.  Said it like all you need to do is go out and pick it up like a sunday paper.  Irritated me!  Then because they are soooo fucking helpful, a social worker was sent down to talk to us.

When the Dr. came into the room, Mac asked her about her thoughts.  She wasn't going to say...asked him what he thought.  He said he didn't know.  Didn't know what to do until he knew what she thought.  Again the Dr asked, "Well, what do you think?"

This was not exactly helpful.

Finally she did cough up that the statin medicine that was started as a result of the heart attack could be causing the problem.  This seemed like a good thought as his other GVH symptoms had improved.  So, we are left hanging.  We do not have a diagnosis for what is happening in the liver.  Last month the paperwork that was sent home with us said they thought it was CMV (cytomegalovirus).  This month the Dr. was totally non committal and the PA said she thought it was GVH in the liver, which you really, really don't want.  In the meantime, social security  is hanging over our head like a toxic cloud.  We were told to just "go ahead and try for it and see what happens".  How's that for brilliant advice?  They have no definite diagnosis.  They didn't give us a form or letter stating medical necessity.  The social worker didn't know jack shit about social security.  All they gave us was dread.

Mac looked up some numbers.  Possible amounts.  We are currently running about $3500. short each year.  We make it by trying to wisely use our tax return, hay money and the kids help us out more then kids should have to.  If things are as bleak as some think, then we will be even further behind on Social Security.  If that is the direction we travel, then there is a good possibility that we will lose the little farm.

I keep thinking about my extreme survival measures... buying a lotto ticket.  It hasn't worked yet.  Dammit!  The other fall back plan was to beg help from Ellen Degeneres.  These are my ridiculous thoughts.  I am taking small comfort in them.  I don't know what else to do.  I am finding no hope, no plan based in reality.  There is nothing concrete to stand on.  My great hope has to rest in that the doctors know nothing, but my fears are also that the doctors know nothing.

For right now, we have decided to ignore them and to just continue.  We will put our heads down and push our shoulders to the load and do our damndest to keep living.

Louie

The Experiment

I have started the "experiment" for next years garden already. Last years did not go well. Last year I tried to make my own compost barrels. However I overlooked, in my enthusiasm, that the barrels I had access to were white. Stuff in white barrels will NEVER compost. The rabbits thought they made comfy dwellings however, and right in the garden.... how handy. So the barrels will get pulled sometime in the next few days and we will go back to an open pile, at least for now.

Anyway, back to the experiment that's working. A week ago I took cuttings from my tomatoes. I had four varieties... Rutgers, Mr. Stripey, Mortgage Lifter and Grape, which is a cherry variety. The cuttings were at different stages of growth. Some were newer and fleshier, which were the ones I thought would root the fastest. Some were stalkier. I pinched off any blossoms that were trying to set and also pinched off quite a few leaves.

Grape, the cherry variety, just looked like hell. It was about an act of desperation to take those cuttings. Very stemmy. They had been well chewed by the grasshoppers and out of four cuttings, only one had a leaf on it.

I have different stages of growth trying to root for three of the four varieties. All seem to be doing well. I have lost about five cuttings. One because he got hung up and never got into the water. The other four I think air bubbled and I should have trimmed them again before putting them in water. All the other cuttings look good, well, except for the Grape. They still look like hell but they have started to set tiny little leaves and they have all set new roots. Of all the cuttings they are doing the best with rooting.

I added eggshell to the water of some of the cuttings. It was an old gardeners trick I had heard of so half of the cuttings got eggshell. I expected that the half with the shell would root faster. That is not working out to be the case. Some are rooting, some aren't. Though the ones rooting have nothing in common. They aren't all stemmier. They didn't all have the same amount of leaf. They aren't all of the same variety. Go figure! For now I will be glad that they are all doing so well. They are all pulling water well. The leaves all look nice and fleshed out. Some are trying to set blossom again. This is happening just by setting them in containers with water. No rooting hormone or other additives other then eggshell. If they all survive, I will be starting my garden with about seventy tomato plants. I am a tomato glutton, so next spring I will still go ahead and order seeds for Riesentraube and Heinz 1429. I will probably also buy a few plants of Brandywine and Oxheart, but if this cutting method of propagation works well, I will very possibly never start tomato seeds again. This is sooo easy!!!

I will need to start looking at grow lights that will imitate full spectrum light. Just not enough sunlight in the house in the winter. I really hope they're cheap. While I'm hoping.. I hope the cuttings keep doing well. I would like to have a few success stories right now. What the hell! I hope one of the lotto tickets that I bought last week wins!

Louie