It's always just amazing to me that things that get a person down have to come in groups. It isn't enough that a cloud should rain on your parade, but it has to turn into a monsoon season. Yes, I feel like I have been flushed.
Bad enough, that my hay guy sold me manure that apparently had zero potency. Bad enough he tacked on a charge that was not discussed or agreed to for harrowing, but now he has also added a forty dollar charge to drive his tractor to my place and a five dollar charge per bale to haul them off. It seem that I will make no money this year. I also had counted my chickens before they had hatched. In my optimistic mindset I had pretend spent the money. In the dark recesses of my mind, I had paid my Parelli dues, bought fence posts, fence wire and, in general, made my world a brighter place.
Let's add to the mayhem.....
Mac has had a lot of chemo and radiation. He has had a good deal of oral wounds from the graft vs. host after the transplant. Severe dry mouth which also is not healthy. Not to mention enough nausea that even brushing his teeth posed problems some days. Now he is reaping the results. His teeth are literally falling out. Another one dropped out of his head yesterday. This makes the fourth one. He is depressed. We haven't the money to fix it.
The horse clinic that I volunteer at has changed locations this year. It may be too far away for me to attend.. Depressing because this is where I went each year to recharge my batteries. Renew my vigor.
Don't know what to do today. I need to get my problem solving skills working. Do something!! I don't know what, but I know that standing still terrifies me. If you stand still, you'll just get sucked backwards. Gotta keep moving.