Monday, July 7, 2014

Making Me Crazy

All the rain we have been having is starting to get to me.  I keep looking at my hay field that is waiting  to get cut.  On one hand I am really frustrated and want my hay!  On the other, as long as it is still standing then it isn't cut, laying on the ground and getting ruined.   It doesn't pay to think about it  Actually I have been putting forth an effort to think about other stuff.  I have been trying to look at the tiny house videos that are on youtube.  But it seems that I have seen most of those.  I have looked at some more organic farming videos but a great deal of those seem like they are too long for me to stream or I have seen them.  It adds to my general poor mood.

I was beating myself up about being generally useless.  Then I decided I just need something new to think about.  I need a puzzle.  I have to have my mind engaged.  I don't know why I tried to look up my great grandparents on census files, but I did.  It was something to do  I have found a little information.  Not much.  But I haven't had much to go on.  There are few family stories.  Some census records were destroyed by fire  The biggest hurdle is that I really don't know what I am doing.

There is one thing that strikes me.  We were poor.  We were always poor  It is like a stench that won't wash off.  I am not sure how much of this family research is fascinating and how much is depressing  but I suppose it beats getting driven nuts by watching it rain.  I'll keep at it for awhile though.  I have great hopes for finding a horse thief somewhere in my family tree.  Then, perhaps, I will find out where my horse crazy gene comes from.

But for now, I am just looking out my window.  It is sunny right now.  Birds are singing.  And soon a low pressure front will be sweeping through.  Thunderstorms are forecast for the afternoon  It really is enough to make you crazy.


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