Most of this month we have been without internet service. It becomes very apparent just how alone you can be when you don't have that pretense at conversation. I did break down and write a real honest to goodness letter to one friend. It made me feel better. For awhile, like when I am here or on one of my horse friend forums, I write and I can pretend that they are speaking back to me in my head. I'm not alone. And the good news is that this is an acceptable way of hearing voices in your head. That's a good thing.
It's a hurdle that is overcome. I am trying to think of things in that way right now.... one more hurdle. One hurdle, anyone can manage. It's when you look at all of it, especially as you go in twenty different directions, that your world unravels.
I found my farm journal while trying to find some dimensions that I was just sure I had written down some place where I wouldn't lose them. I flipped through my journal. I hadn't made an entry in over a year. I should have been filled with guilt and remorse but I didn't have the energy for it. I found myself getting sucked in though. Overall there were two recurring themes, money and fencing. I can't say that there is anything I can do about the money right now. I always have thoughts. I always make plans, but I don't want to muddy the waters or dilute my concentration. I would really like to get the fencing finished. One hurdle. Get it done and move on. Finally, please, get this worst battle over with!
I must take the blame to some extent. I have changed my plans. Made a new layout based on new information. I've had emergency situations come up. I've had plenty of times when Pip spent too much time breaking through the fence. And never, ever, enough money to do the job properly. Some things I could help and some things I couldn't. But now, while I have this bit of time before winter sets in, I want to make my fence into my "one more hurdle" project......at least, sections of it.
I made the mistake, I suppose you could say, of reading up on the paddock paradise system for keeping horses. It is also referred to as the "track system". In it's most basic terms, you fence off the center of your pasture so the horses must walk around the perimeter to graze. It does a number of things. It naturally keeps the horses moving which is better for keeping their weight down, keeping them exercised and keeping their hooves properly worn, requiring fewer trimmings. New plans have been made...FOR THE LAST TIME!!!!! And I want my new hurdle to be this lower pasture section. Do it! Do it right and move on. Next year will be another section. Do that one and be done. Fencing has mired me down like quick sand and it's time to dislodge myself. I have other things to do!
So...... one more hurdle.