Sometimes a person's mind just becomes a jumble of activity. That seems to be me these days. I try to find some clarity here and there, but it isn't very long lasting. I got a task done yesterday. (Hooray for me!) It wasn't on the list, but it needed to be seen to and I was in the mood. So I got out the zero turn lawn mower, as I do not have any other "farm equipment", stacked my two bags of dolomitic lime onto the deck of the mower, found a small plastic flower pot and took off across the hay field to spread lime. I had been hoping to find a small walk behind spreader but even the cheapest one was beyond my budget. My thought for the day became, "not quite right is still better then not at all". I rode over the hills, well, more accurately I bounced over the hills, inspecting the ground. Noting grass types, thickness, weed population, thatch and in what places do I have any bare ground. The healthier areas, where the grass is fairly thick and seems to be coming along, I left alone for now. It will get manure tea soon and that should be a help to it. The lime went where the grass was thin or the weeds were overpopulating. That soil needs all of the help I can give to it so the grass starts to crowd out the weeds. I made a mental note of exactly which patches are the worse, then I decided that I shouldn't trust my mind. Things change. Appearances will alter. So the areas that needed the most attention I simply mowed.
This will be my little secret as Mac does not want the mower used out in the rough. The grass and weeds are really dry. Everything mowed easily and I think I will get away with my misdemeanor.
I felt so good about my accomplishment that I had to do the inevitable.... I made a list. It is titled "What I Must Get Done Before Winter". It was suppose to be concise and give me the focus I needed to soldier through. Soon there was a subsection called, "What I would Like To Get Done Before Winter". Followed by a subsection called, "And Don't Forget". Then there were some hurried scrawling in the margins that just kind of depressed me. Now my winter list vaguely resembles my overall to-do list to complete the farm.
But yesterday felt so good! It felt good to be out and touching my ground. The smells were dry and intense. Most of the fall color is gone and we are down to shades of tan and brown with a few stubborn burgundies hanging on. It should have sent me into a panic over winter preparedness but it didn't. It's my land and it was talking to me. Telling me what it needed. And I listened.
We'll start there.