If only I had money today. I would feel happier. I would pay the insurance that is due on the house and the truck. I would pay my taxes that were due in September. I would fix the slow leak in the front passenger side tire. I would buy a new battery for my truck. Doing this would take the weight of the world off my shoulders. I would breathe again and I would sleep at night.
If I only had a bit more money today, I would drive down to the MFA store and buy polyrope electric fencing while it was on sale and work on finishing the next horse lot. I would buy tee posts. As many as I could manage. Maybe, just maybe, I would also buy five cattle panels. Then I could build one of those temporary barns with the panels, like I have read so much about. Then I would buy a heavy tarp and cover the panels.
If only I had money, I would buy hay. I would buy two large bales to make sure there was enough for over the holidays and I would buy a hundred small bales for the rest of the winter. If only I had hay, I would take deep breaths, and I wouldn't sigh all of the time.
If only I had money, I would buy a piece of plexi and make my solar collector for the coop and the solar water tank.
If only I hadn't fallen down yesterday. If my leg weren't banged up. If my back didn't hurt so bad, then I would feel more optimistic about the other stuff. But I know there must be a way to get these things managed. It has to be done and I have to do it. If only I could think of a solution.