Today will be one of those days when absolutely nothing will be accomplished. Mac will work half a day and then we will take off for Des Moines to see his regular oncologist. Not enough time to get anything done. Hardly any time to get myself sorted out and started on a project. Then I will work myself up to a bit of nausea, which I seem to do when ever doctors are involved. Then after the doctor, I will be famished and have a wee bit of a mental crash. Depending on how things go today, tomorrow I will either be invigorated or I will sleep off my stress.
So, what to do with my half day before we head to Des Moines? Well, hadn't better do anything that will make me smell. Better keep it calm. Calm is a good thing. I think I'll go count fence posts again and see if I have enough of everything to finish up the closest pasture lots. I wonder if that will be calm enough. Could start off a panic attack as well. This time of year can be so emotional... kind of like going through puberty on a seasonal basis.
I don't think I have totally made the transition back to normal from survival mode in a hospital. It is like being haunted. Every day when I plan how I want my life to unfold there is that little niggling feeling in the back of the brain. The question of how would I extricate myself from what I'm doing if I got the phone call. Always be ready to drop everything. Can I leave my life again?
Screw this... I'd rather have the fear of winter and not having the money to pay for heat , then to have the fear of doctors and hospitals. I need to go feed my girls and count fence posts. I'll choose my own poison.
Doesn't matter anyway... nothing will be accomplished today.
Louie
Showing posts with label oncologists. Show all posts
Showing posts with label oncologists. Show all posts
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
Add Ons
Every once in awhile you see a picture on the internet or a magazine or you look out of the window of your car as your speeding along and you catch a glimpse of something. It's more about the feeling you get then the it is the scene, but you know that you have to recreate it. Then you know that the feeling... that look, has to be recreated at home.
There have been several such glimpses lately. Things that look like they would just melt right into the landscape here. Fences and arbors and hedge rows that crawl over the hills, undulating and green.
My brains go onto hyperdrive and start dissecting the best way to accomplish another project. The best location... the best view... could you put a toilet in it? Now don't tell me you haven't wondered that! We've all been to places where the "facilities" were a row of fly covered Kybos along a back fence. No, not here. Here, every purpose will add to the aesthetic. Everything here has to be beautiful. Every add on has to add to the vision.
I wish I could share it with you... the sun peeking over the hills, the trees outlined in the glow as black silhouettes. Descending down the road into a vale of trees. Rabbits on the road and deer jumping out of the ditches and bounding across the meadow. Then there is a break in the darkness of the trees and you look up. In the bright clearing is such a small cottage. It just draws you in. Every thing around it is rustic and timeless. The horses nicker and the red tailed hawks glide across the ever lightening skies. Sometimes you hear their screeching call.
So for a place like this only the best add ons will do... no steel sheds here. Only magic things belong in this magic place. And so, Happy Campers, that is the thought that will have to tied you over tomorrow. Tomorrow we will be up early and head out for Iowa City to see the secondary group of oncologists. With luck, Mac's scheduled visits will get moved out to eight weeks.
Fingers crossed.
Louie
There have been several such glimpses lately. Things that look like they would just melt right into the landscape here. Fences and arbors and hedge rows that crawl over the hills, undulating and green.
My brains go onto hyperdrive and start dissecting the best way to accomplish another project. The best location... the best view... could you put a toilet in it? Now don't tell me you haven't wondered that! We've all been to places where the "facilities" were a row of fly covered Kybos along a back fence. No, not here. Here, every purpose will add to the aesthetic. Everything here has to be beautiful. Every add on has to add to the vision.
I wish I could share it with you... the sun peeking over the hills, the trees outlined in the glow as black silhouettes. Descending down the road into a vale of trees. Rabbits on the road and deer jumping out of the ditches and bounding across the meadow. Then there is a break in the darkness of the trees and you look up. In the bright clearing is such a small cottage. It just draws you in. Every thing around it is rustic and timeless. The horses nicker and the red tailed hawks glide across the ever lightening skies. Sometimes you hear their screeching call.
So for a place like this only the best add ons will do... no steel sheds here. Only magic things belong in this magic place. And so, Happy Campers, that is the thought that will have to tied you over tomorrow. Tomorrow we will be up early and head out for Iowa City to see the secondary group of oncologists. With luck, Mac's scheduled visits will get moved out to eight weeks.
Fingers crossed.
Louie
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